


i’ve waited a fortnite for you

by kimnoodles



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), GOT7, Mamamoo, Red Velvet (K-pop Band), TWICE (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, Humor, Hyejin will fight you, In high school, Jackson is a Good Friend, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope & Kim Namjoon | RM are Best Friends, Jungkook is a genji main, Lisa is trying her best, Mark and Jinyoung dated in middle school lmao, Matchmaking, Memes, Multi, Nerd Kim Namjoon | RM, Please Help Jin, Pop Culture, Seulgi won’t stop talking about Pokemon, Taehyung still wears gucci, Texting, Theater Nerd Kim Seokjin | Jin, Trans Park Jimin (BTS), Vines, based on the american school system because i’m american, because we need some of that at the moment, chatfic, farmers vs thespians, group chats, or LGBTQ+ at least, wtf tae
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:42:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23338594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimnoodles/pseuds/kimnoodles
Summary: Jackeroni:wait is he the dude with the shouldersJinjunior:uh jackson everyone has shouldersj-hope:i don’t!! just disembodied arms here fellas—or, the multifandom high school au chatfic nobody asked for
Relationships: Ahn Hyejin | Hwasa/Jung Wheein, Bae Joohyun | Irene/Park Sooyoung | Joy, Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Chou Tzuyu/Minatozaki Sana, Hirai Momo/Yoo Jeongyeon, Im Nayeon/Kim Dahyun, Jennie Kim/Kim Jisoo, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Min Yoongi | Suga, Kang Seulgi/Son Seungwan | Wendy, Kim Hyojong | E'Dawn/Kim Hyuna, Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin, Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Kim Yugyeom, Lalisa Manoban | Lisa/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé, Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang, Myoui Mina/Son Chaeyoung
Comments: 6
Kudos: 58





	1. tHe OnE wItH tHe ShOuLdErS

**_chat: sophomore j name squaddd_ **

_members: Joonbug, j-hope, Jackeroni, YaBoiJB, and Jinjunior ****_

**Joonbug:**

uh guys I need some advice

**Jackeroni:**

yeah dude?

**Joonbug:**

so

hypothetically

what would you do if some popular rich kid winked at you in the hallway

**YaBoiJB:**

ew don’t trust popular rich kids

all they want is to use you

**Joonbug:**

yeah but he’s REALLY cute

**j-hope:**

oh does our little joonie have a crush?

**Jinjunior:** ****

omg he’s growing up so fast MY BABY

**Joonbug:**

Jinyoung I hate to break it to you but I’m older than you are

**Jinjunior:**

yeah by like ten days bitch

**Jackeroni:**

more importantly, who’s Namjoon’s crush??

**YaBoiJB:**

don’t trust that kid dude

rich popular kids are bad news

**Joonbug:**

it’s

uh

it’s Kim Seokjin

**YaBoiJB:**

oh nvm then he’s okay

**j-hope:**

oh dang seokjin winked at you? you got mad game joon

**Jackeroni:**

wait who

**j-hope:**

kim seokjin

popular handsome rich senior

very friendly but apparently has stupid high standards

also i hear he’s a theater kid so uh

**Jackeroni:**

wait is he the dude with the shoulders

**Jinjunior:**

uh jackson everyone has shoulders

**j-hope:**

i don’t!! just disembodied arms here fellas 

**Joonbug:**

yeah he has shoulders

his insta is worldwidehandsome

I think his snapchat is the same but I'm not sure

**Jackeroni:**

oh yeah I know who he is

he's cute I guess

**Joonbug:**

isn't he?? I'm so in love but he doesn't even know my name

**YaBoiJB:**

rip namjoon 

**j-hope:**

he COULD know your name

just talk to him dude it's not that hard

**Joonbug:**

yeah but,,

he's so handsome and popular

**Jinjunior:**

he winked at you namjoon 

it wouldn't be unusual for you to just go and talk to him

**Jackeroni:**

just dm him on instagram or something

**Joonbug:**

if I talk to him I'll just embarrass myself

**j-hope:**

dude just go for it

you'll never know if you don't try

**Joonbug:**

but

**j-hope:**

no buts

go get yourself a bf

**Joonbug:**

what if he's straight though?

**Jackeroni:**

don't worry he's a theater kid

there's no such thing as a straight one of them

**j-hope:**

yeah theater kids are even gayer than we are

**Joonbug:**

yeah but I'm

y'know

a nerd

**j-hope:**

coughHESATHEATERKIDcough

**Jinjunior:**

lol hobi do you have the coronavirus

**j-hope:**

no but i am allergic to stupidity

**Jackeroni:**

wow it must suck to be allergic to yourself

**j-hope:**

JACKSON WANG I WILL FUCKING OBLITERATE YOU 

**Jackeroni:**

you're just afraid of the truth

**j-hope:**

i am NOT

**Jackeroni:**

twink

**j-hope:**

excuse you bitch i thought the only twink here was namjoon

**Joonbug:**

what

**j-hope:**

what

**YaBoiJB:**

we're all twinks here

**Jinjunior:**

the twinkiest

**Joonbug:**

okay guys the bell just rang so imma head out

I'm not tryna get my phone taken away

**j-hope:**

lol nerd

**Jinjunior:**

LMAO MR KWON JUST TOOK HOSEOK'S PHONE

**Jackeroni:**

karma

* * *

_**chat: Chinamen** _

_members: EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT and Mark Twain_

**Mark Twain:**

hey Jackson apparently there's a freshman from Taiwan we should add her to the chat

**EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT:**

oh hell yeah

wait

do we even have her contact info?

**Mark Twain:**

no but I have freshman friends

we got this

hang on a moment

* * *

_**chat: Chinamen** _

_members: EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT and Mark Twain_

_Mark Twain added Chou Tzuyu to the chat_

**Mark Twain:**

aight it's done

**EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT:**

hell yeah

**Chou Tzuyu:**

what's going on here?

**Mark Twain:**

this is the Official Chinaman Group Chat

**Chou Tzuyu:**

but i'm from taiwan

**EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT:**

lol we're not from mainland china either i'm from hong kong

**Mark Twain:**

I'm Taiwanese-American lmao

**Chou Tzuyu:**

ah i see

wait isn't chinaman a slur??

**EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT:**

yeah lol sorry if it's offensive we can change it

**Mark Twain:**

actually it's time to change it anyway it's been more than a week since the last name change

**EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT:**

oh shit you're right

what should we change it to

**Chou Tzuyu:**

what about "cross-strait relations"

or "random group chat strangers"

**Mark Twain:**

oh perfect

_Mark Twain changed the chat name to random group chat strangers_

**EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT:**

are you implying that i'm a stranger to you?? mark we've been dating for two years now

**Mark Twain:**

we're both strangers to Tzuyu here

wait a minute we never introduced ourselves

I'm Mark Tuan and this is my idiot boyfriend Jackson Wang

**EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT:**

ayyy

wait i'm not an idiot

**Chou Tzuyu:**

"sophomore" means "wise fool" so uh take that as you will

by the way i'm chou tzuyu but you guys clearly already know that

**Mark Twain:**

oh my god I love you already

**EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT:**

bitch

**Mark Twain:**

you have no right to talk to me that way I am an upperclassman I have the authority here

**Chou Tzuyu:**

bitch

**Mark Twain:**

excuse me?

**Chou Tzuyu:**

did i fucking stutter?

**EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT:**

underclassmen have authority in this chat now it's official

**Mark Twain:**

this was a mistake

* * *

_**chat: THESPIANS AGAINST FARMERS (theater club)** _

_members: Handsome President Man, Windchime Bitch, not-jennifer, Sound Guy, rosie posy, fucking BRAT, fresh never frozen, Dusk, Hyundai-a, sans, Thigh Goddess, and Bambam_

**Handsome President Man:**

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP FUCKERS

**Sound Guy:**

kill yourself

**Handsome President Man:**

no u

**sans:**

yeah, seokjin-san?

**Sound Guy:**

Sana don't indulge him 

call him bitch or don't talk to him at all

**Windchime Bitch:**

hey I thought I was the bitch

**Sound Guy:**

no Seulgi you're a fucking wind chime

**Windchime Bitch:**

excuse you I'm CHIMECHO

**Sound Guy:**

Chimecho is the lamest pokemon

**Windchime Bitch:**

obviously you haven't seen Binacle and Barbaracle

**Sound Guy:**

oh god don't remind me about those abominations

**Dusk:**

I think that pinecone one is pretty dumb

**Windchime Bitch:**

oh you mean Pineco

yeah that's valid

**Bambam:**

Magikarp

**not-jennifer:**

but magikarp evolves into gyarados

**Bambam:**

oh shit u right

**Thigh Goddess:**

what about Swalot and Gulpin

**rosie posy:**

nah they're kinda cute

muk on the other hand? muk is a piece of shit

**Windchime Bitch:**

agreed

**Hyundai-a:**

okay I'm gonna admit I don't know shit about Pokemon but isn't there one that's literally just a bunch of gears

**Dawn:**

anyway guys Seokjin has something to say

**Sound Guy:**

if it was that important he would've interrupted us to say it

**Handsome President Man:**

thanks Hyojong

stfu Yoongi

**Sound Guy:**

bitch

**Windchime Bitch:**

Seokjin what's the lamest Pokemon

**Handsome President Man:**

uh in terms of strength I'd say Luvdisc fucking sucks

as for worst design that would be Jynx hands down that bitch is fucking u g l y

**not-jennifer:**

literally nobody has agreed on any of this

**sans:**

well i mean we all keep agreeing when someone mentions a sucky pokemon

**not-jennifer:**

true but like none of us have the same top pick yknow?

**Handsome President Man:**

okay seriously I have something important to tell you

**not-jennifer:**

wow that's a first

**Handsome President Man:**

Jennie do you want to fight

**not-jennifer:**

yes

**rosie posy:**

wait jin not everyone is here

**not-jennifer:**

well we have me, you, seulgi, hyojong, hyuna, hyejin, yoongi, bambam, and sana so we're good

jungkook and wendy can go without hearing this right away

**Bambam:**

Jennie said no rights

**Handsome President Man:**

Wendy has rights but Jungkook is a little shit so uh

anyway guys we need to start with costuming

we have some stuff already so we need to see if that works

can everyone be at rehearsal tonight?

**Windchime Bitch:**

yeah

**Bambam:**

yes

**rosie posy:**

yep

**sans:**

yes

**Hyundai-a:**

I'll be late I have detention

**sans:**

hyuna why do you have detention

**Hyundai-a:**

I was late to math

**sans:**

oh

**Sound Guy:**

if we're just doing costumes today I won't be there because I'm just the sound guy

**Handsome President Man:**

no way Yoongi you're getting a costume too

everyone knows the sound crew has to dress up like princesses for the show

**Sound Guy:**

I regret ever choosing to associate with you people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys what do you think the worst pokemon is


	2. tHe OnE wItH tHe ChIlDhOoD mEmOrIeS

**_chat: THESPIANS AGAINST FARMERS (theater club)_ **

_members:_ _Handsome President Man, Windchime Bitch, not-jennifer, Sound Guy, rosie posy, fucking BRAT, fresh never frozen, Dusk, Hyundai-a, sans, Thigh Goddess, and Bambam_

**fresh never frozen:**

hey guys what’s your worst childhood memory?

i need to know it’s for science

**Bambam:**

she’s lying it’s for yearbook we have an assignment where we have to interview people about stuff

**fresh never frozen:**

semantics

**Handsome President Man:**

hmm well I gotta say that time in 5th grade when Choi Seungho told everyone you’d turn into a frog if you touched my hands was kinda shitty

**fresh never frozen:**

i’m sorry WHAT

**Handsome President Man:**

you heard me

**Bambam:**

why

**Handsome President Man:** ****

because I have weird hands and he’s a fucking douchebag

**fucking BRAT:**

don’t worry hyung my friend jimin has weird hands too

**Handsome President Man:**

wait really?

**fucking BRAT:**

well his fingers aren’t crooked like yours he just has really tiny hands 

**Handsome President Man:**

why you gotta do me like that ;-;

**Thigh Goddess:**

y’all are dumb

anyway my worst memory is probably the time I got stuck in a storm drain

**fresh never frozen:**

hyejin what the fuck

**Thigh Goddess:**

it’s a long story

**Bambam:**

I think mine was the time I got my head dunked in a bucket of mop water

**fucking BRAT:**

i got the scar on my face when i fought my brother for a turn on the computer

**sans:**

you guys had really weird childhoods wtf ****

my worst memory is having a spider fall on my head from the bathroom ceiling

**Thigh Goddess:**

Sana’s over here just vibing lol

**Sound Guy:**

I had a lot of shitty childhood moments how do you expect me to choose

**fresh never frozen:**

idk everyone else did it

**Sound Guy:**

hmm well meeting Jin is definitely up there

**Handsome President Man:**

wHAT

YOONGI I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BFF (biggest fan forever)

**Sound Guy:**

1) that is NOT what that stands for you bitch 

2) I'd argue that the circumstances of our meeting were less than ideal

**Handsome President Man:**

well that was your fault

I don't recall being the one with my bare ass on the photocopier

**Sound Guy:**

hey in my defense I was in second grade and I wasn't expecting the boss's son to walk in

**fresh never frozen:**

wait what happened

**Sound Guy:**

uh well you see 

I moved to Seoul to live with my dad after my (abusive) mom finally lost custody rights but I didn't start school immediately because I got there in the middle of the week

so while I wasn't at school I went to work with my dad, who works for Samsung

and on the first day I got real fuckin bored because I was like 7

and then I found this room FULL of copy machines

so I pulled my pants down and started making copies of my asscheeks, like you do

and then who walks in but the son of the fucking CEO

**Bambam:**

wait Seokjin your dad is the ceo of samsung??

**Handsome President Man:**

uh yeah?? I thought everyone knew that already

**Sound Guy:**

either way this kid was also in second grade but he was a fucking BITCH

like he just walked in and said something like "hey get your stupid butt off my dad's copy machine"

and I was super embarrassed because I didn't have pants or underwear on and this little asshole was definitely going to tattle

**Handsome President Man:**

but I didn't

**Sound Guy:**

he didn't but I don't know what was stopping him

anyway that's how we met

and then we ended up going to the same school and we were even in the same class

**Dusk:**

wait but Jin's a senior and Yoongi's a junior

**Sound Guy:**

I got held back in middle school 

**Dusk:**

oh

same

**Hyundai-a:**

uh I think the real question here is why wasn't seokjin at school on the day yoongi had his butt on the copier

**Handsome President Man:**

I was suspended

**Hyundai-a:**

WHAT  
HOW

**Thigh Goddess:**

yeah you're like the least likely person to get suspended

**Windchime Bitch:**

how do you get suspended in second grade??

**Handsome President Man:**

long story short I broke this girl's nose

**Dusk:**

wait WHAT

**sans:**

SEOKJIN broke someone's nose?? that is so out of character wtf

**Handsome President Man:**

hey in my defense she tried to steal my oreos

**Dusk:**

oh valid

**fucking BRAT:**

lol jin i thought your hands were too fragile for that

**Handsome President Man:**

Jungkook I'll fucking eviscerate you if you don't take that back this instant

**fucking BRAT:**

do u even know what that word means

**Handsome President Man:**

yes, do you?

**fucking BRAT:**

...no

**Handsome President Man:**

well it means to disembowel something

y'know, like taking out all its organs and whatnot

**fucking BRAT:**

eww

**Handsome President Man:**

yeah so you better take back what you said about my hands if you don't want me to remove your entrails from your body

**fucking BRAT:**

okay i take it back sorry hyung ily

**Handsome President Man:**

that's better

**Windchime Bitch:**

the amount of control Jin has over Jungkook astounds me

* * *

**_chat: Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin_ **

_members: Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin_

**Kim Namjoon:**

um

hi, is this Kim Seokjin?

**Kim Seokjin:**

yes it is!! Mr Worldwide Handsome himself!

**Kim Namjoon:**

okay good

you're the president of theater club right?

**Kim Seokjin:**

yeah!!

**Kim Namjoon:**

I know it's a little late, but do you think I could still join?

**Kim Seokjin:**

of course! since we're already so far along with the show you won't be able to have an acting role, but we always need more crew members!

**Kim Namjoon:**

that's perfect

I'd prefer to do sound, is that okay?

**Kim Seokjin:**

of course it is! Yoongi would probably love to have someone else who also has to wear a princess dress

**Kim Namjoon:**

I'm sorry what

**Kim Seokjin:**

I've been teasing him about wearing a dress during our show lmao

obviously it won't happen but that would be hilarious and his reactions are always so funny 

**Kim Namjoon:**

ah

**Kim Seokjin:**

yeah

so it's official, you're part of theater club now :) we have a meeting in the auditorium this afternoon after school until 5 but you don't have to come if you can't because it's such short notice

**Kim Namjoon:**

don't worry, I can be there

**Kim Seokjin:**

excellent!! see you there!!

**Kim Namjoon:**

okay 

thank you

**Kim Seokjin:**

no problem! welcome to the club!!

* * *

_**chat: sophomore j name squaddd**_

_members: Joonbug, j-hope, Jackeroni, YaBoiJB, and Jinjunior_

**Joonbug:**

okay so

**j-hope:**

did you do it??

**Joonbug:**

yeah

I'm part of theater club now

a sound guy

_j-hope changed Joonbug's name to GOSHDARN THESPIAN_

**YaBoiJB:**

and was Seokjin as scary as you thought he'd be?

**GOSHDARN THESPIAN:**

no he's super nice 

uses a lot of exclamation marks though

like this!! every sentence

**YaBoiJB:**

lmao that's a phat mood tho

**Jinjunior:**

if any adults or, if it's in the future, historians see that text they will literally not understand a word of it but it makes sense to us isn't that wild

**YaBoiJB:**

lol Jinyoung are you high or something?

**Jinjunior:**

no?? we all know Hoseok is the only one of us who has ever done drugs

**j-hope:**

that was ONE TIME

**Jinjunior:**

yeah but you're always saying the only reason you didn't become a stoner after that experience is the fact that your mom would light you on fire

**j-hope:**

i mean yeah but don't shame me for it

**GOSHDARN THESPIAN:**

say no to drugs, Hobi

**j-hope:**

don't act like you can shame me

you're a theater kid now

**Jinjunior:**

oh damn he went there

**Jackeroni:**

y'all really using "theater kid" as the ultimate insult?

**j-hope:**

well it IS

we are FARMERS

**GOSHDARN THESPIAN:**

you don't have to be lonely at farmersonly.com

**YaBoiJB:**

city folks just don't get it

* * *

_**chat: THESPIANS AGAINST FARMERS (theater club)** _

_members:_ _Handsome President Man, Windchime Bitch, not-jennifer, Sound Guy, rosie posy, fucking BRAT, fresh never frozen, Dusk, Hyundai-a, sans, Thigh Goddess, and Bambam_

**Handsome President Man:**

hey guess what!!

**rosie posy:**

uhh

you went for a maccas run?

**Bambam:**

what the fuck is a maccas run

**Windchime Bitch:**

Roseanne please be aware that the rest of us don't speak Australian

**Handsome President Man:**

she means "a trip to McDonald's" and no that is not the correct answer

**sans:**

jin how do you know that

**Handsome President Man:**

friendly reminder that I was an exchange student in Australia freshman year

**sans:**

FRESHMAN year??? i thought exchange students did their thing during junior or senior year????

**Handsome President Man:**

it helps to be rich and have an influential father

anyway

GUESS WHAT

**Windchime Bitch:**

uh you're gay?

**Handsome President Man:**

no that's common knowledge

**fucking BRAT:**

you dislocated a finger again??

**Handsome President Man:**

no Jungkook

I did not dislocate a finger

and it doesn't happen THAT often

**Dusk:**

and he's flying higher, the king of the sky?

**Handsome President Man:**

that doesn't even make sense??

**Dusk:**

it does if you're a Sabaton fan smh

**Thigh Goddess:**

did you take a REALLY nice shit?

**fresh never frozen:**

HYEJIN WHAT THE FUCK

**Thigh Goddess:**

idk that just seems like something Jin would tell us about

**Handsome President Man:**

no wtf

**Bambam:**

Jin can you please just tell us

**Handsome President Man:**

nope!! nobody has guessed correctly yet

**sans:**

jin please it could literally be anything

**Handsome President Man:**

okay fine I'm getting tired of this anyway

so

we have a new member!!!

_Handsome President Man added Namzoom to the chat_

**Handsome President Man:**

everyone please welcome Kim Namjoon, our second sound guy!!

**Namzoom:**

uh hi

**sans:**

hi! i'm sana and i'm from japan

**Windchime Bitch:**

I'm Seulgi and I'm NOT from Japan

**not-jennifer:**

wait what

we have a new member??

oh btw i'm jennie

**rosie posie:**

i'm chaeyoung/roseanne (call me whichever one you want lol)

**Bambam:**

just call me Bambam

**Namzoom:**

is that your actual name?

**Bambam:**

well yes but actually no

nobody can spell or pronounce my actual name, which is Kunpimook Bhuwakul

**Namzoom:**

oh I see

is it Thai?

**Bambam:**

yeah!! nobody ever gets that right haha

**Handsome President Man:**

anyway Namjoon welcome to the club!! we're glad to have you!!!

**Namzoom:**

ahhh thank you 

**Sound Guy:**

wait wait wait

am

am I being replaced

**Namzoom:**

oh you must be Yoongi

nice to meet you

**Sound Guy:**

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE


End file.
